HARARE – A Southlea Park woman has secured a protection order against her estranged husband after telling the Harare Civil Court that he had become violent while demanding the refund of lobola he paid for their marriage, alongside repeated incidents of sexual abuse, harassment, and threats of self-harm.
Ms Lilian Gwena appeared before magistrate Johanna Mukwesha to outline the disturbing pattern of behaviour by her husband, Claudius Gatawa, which she said had left her living in constant fear.
“He always forces himself on me, harasses me, and comes to my house unannounced, threatening to commit suicide,” Ms Gwena told the court. She said the situation had reached a point where she no longer felt safe in her own home.
According to her testimony, Gatawa’s aggression worsened over time, especially as he began to press for the return of the lobola he had paid. Ms Gwena stressed that he was directing his demands at the wrong person, explaining that under cultural practice, any refund should be discussed with her parents — the recipients of the lobola — and not herself.
Despite her attempts to address their marital challenges amicably, she said Gatawa repeatedly used intimidation and harassment to make his demands. She further alleged that he often threatened to take his own life in front of her, a tactic she said was both emotionally manipulative and deeply distressing.
Her court application detailed incidents of verbal abuse, harassment, and sexual misconduct, with Ms Gwena urging the court to bar her husband from visiting her home altogether.
While Gatawa admitted to visiting her unannounced, he rejected the abuse allegations, insisting that the root of their conflict lay in what he claimed was her infidelity. He told the court that he was forced to leave their shared home after discovering intimate messages on her phone.
“I came across messages on her phone; she cannot deny it, she was cheating,” Gatawa said, adding that the discovery had left him deeply hurt. He argued that he had made a serious commitment to the marriage by paying lobola and that he felt disrespected and discarded.
“She is treating me like a stranger,” he told the magistrate. Gatawa maintained that he had never physically assaulted his wife and that his actions were motivated by a desire to salvage their marriage rather than to harm her.
However, the court found that his conduct — including uninvited visits, harassment, and sexual coercion — justified Ms Gwena’s fears for her safety. Magistrate Mukwesha issued a protection order prohibiting Gatawa from sexually abusing, insulting, or threatening Ms Gwena in any way.
Man in court for violently demanding back lobola
In her ruling, the magistrate reminded Gatawa that disputes over lobola refunds should be handled through appropriate cultural or legal channels and never through intimidation or violence. She urged the couple to seek peaceful solutions to their differences and warned that breaching the protection order would carry legal consequences.
In Zimbabwe, lobola — or bride price — is a longstanding cultural tradition in which a groom’s family offers a symbolic payment to the bride’s family as part of the marriage process. While the practice is viewed by many as a gesture of respect and union between families, it can become a point of contention when marriages break down.
Under customary law, the refund of lobola is not automatic and is typically negotiated by elders or family representatives. In cases where a marriage ends, some men request refunds, but cultural protocol dictates that such demands be made to the bride’s family — not to the bride herself.
Family law experts warn that disputes over lobola can quickly escalate if handled outside traditional mediation processes. Legal practitioner Tafadzwa Moyo, speaking on the general trend, explained:
“Lobola is deeply tied to cultural norms and family honour. If a man feels wronged, the correct procedure is to approach the wife’s family and negotiate through elders. Taking matters into your own hands, especially with threats or violence, turns it into a criminal matter.”
Cases like Ms Gwena’s highlight an emerging challenge where cultural practices intersect with legal protections, particularly around domestic violence and women’s rights. Gender rights advocates say women often bear the brunt of such disputes, facing emotional and physical abuse over matters that should be resolved through dialogue.
“Many women suffer in silence when lobola disputes turn ugly,” said activist Rumbidzai Nyathi. “The law provides protection, but some are afraid to come forward. This case is a reminder that abuse — whether physical, sexual, or emotional — should never be tolerated under the guise of cultural disagreements.”
The protection order granted to Ms Gwena ensures that Gatawa cannot visit her home or make contact in a manner that could be deemed threatening. Should he violate the order, he risks arrest and possible imprisonment.
For Ms Gwena, the court’s decision marks a critical step in reclaiming her sense of security. For Gatawa, it serves as a stern warning that grievances — cultural or otherwise — must be resolved within the bounds of the law.
Source- Heraldonline
